107. The Week in Me
I did a MySpace survey.
Come see me read a personal essay in Brooklyn!
And listen to me discuss Sleeping With Other People, my favorite film of all time, on Female Gaze!
Last beverage:
Snapple Zero Sugar Lemon tea. I drink about four of these a day, on a good day. I am a pack-a-day Snappler. My mom says this is why I’m fat (the aspartame).Last phone call:
I’m writing this on Monday, and I guarantee you that my answer will still be my dad, because he calls when I’m working from home to ask if I’d like an eggplant special from Losurdo’s, because he’s very sweet like that.Last song you listened to:
Last time you cried:
On the toilet a few days ago about the divorce. It hurts all the time. The divorce, not the toilet - I’ve largely powered through my lactose intolerance through sheer grit and substituting milk with Rice Dream. But. No jokes. It hurts all the time, that my wrongness has burned through the last person who loved me by choice.Have you dated someone twice:
I had a will-they-they-shouldn’t Sally Rooney-ass situationship for like twelve years which would count. He wasn’t worth it. The friendships I’ve made with the people he has exhausted and hurt are.Kissed someone & regretted it:
Never go searching for dick in a red state, is all I’ll say.Have you ever been cheated on:
Not that I am aware of. I still love this song though!!!What are your three favorite colors:
Silver, oxblood, and black.Kissed anyone on your friends list:
Amending this to “any of your subscribers” and actually yes, quite a few. I’m friendly with many of my exes.Do you want to change your name:
Yes. I actually loathe my middle name, Marie. Tara Marie is so guidette. It’s so repositorily Catholic. I’d like to swap it out for our Jewish family name, Messenger.What did you do for your last birthday:
Pretended it wasn’t happening. I refused to have a birthday this year, which is why I often have to remind myself that I’m no longer 32.Most visited webpage:
This one - I check my post stats obsessively. My OCD doesn’t settle until I see even numbered post views littering the homepage.Height:
Five-foot-three-and-a-half. Thank you, human growth hormone.Zodiac sign:
Cancer sun, Sag moon, Leo rising (Click here for my Muppet zodiac.)Tattoos:
I want lyrics from this song, but haven’t gotten ‘em yet.First sport you joined:
When I was about 5, my parents had me join the local soccer team. In my second season, the now mayor of Hasbrouck Heights kicked the ball to me, not realizing that I wasn’t only shorter from a rearview mirror, and it cannonballed into my stomach. I lost breath. I lost wind. I lost any interest in soccer.First best friend:
Hi, Chelsea!
This was a good reminder to order what I need for the costume I’m wearing to Chelsea’s Hallowedding. What time did you wake up today:
8:30am on remote days, 7:30am on office days. Today’s remote.Name something you CANNOT wait for:
Seeing Countess Luann de Lesseps at her live cabaret with Lindsay.
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Enable 3rd party cookies or use another browserDo you have a crush on someone:
and I will fight to the death over Glen Powell, and I will be sad, but it must be done.
Sorry, girl! That little bob he has in Hit Man is making me do it! Piercings:
My mom had my first holes done by Dr. Vanore’s piercing gun at five months old, then bossed me into getting my seconds done at 14 because all the cool girls had them. I stopped wearing earrings at all the next year, and haven’t worn them since (the occasional retro clip-on excluded). The holes get infected every few months from hair, shampoo, hairspray, arrested rebellion, and I get these hard little balls of pus I have to excise. Thanks, Val!First surgery:
Wisdom teeth extraction at 17. I booked it for the week of prom so I could get out of going and danced around to the Smiths a lot tripping testes on liquid Percocet.First vacation:
I think that’s when I almost drowned in a wave pool in Florida. I was little little, maybe 18 months old. Small as hell.Have you ever kissed a stranger:
I know not only the first and last but often middle name of every person I have kissed. I actually ask, to maintain my virtue.Moved out of town:
I’ve only lived in Hasbrouck Heights, Philly, and Hoboken. I’ve moved twice then, essentially.Sex on first date:
Sorry to my ex-husband’s grandmother who reads this, but yeah it’s happened. Usually when the connection was established as a casual one from the start.50. Fallen for a friend:
I run into the guy who friendzoned me in high school at shows sometimes, and when I do I feel like the 17-year-old who got a computer virus burning him a copy of the new Los Campesinos! album all over again.Do you believe in angels:
Yes, I live with two of them.Love at first sight:
I had this date with a guy who opened the door in a Bjork long-sleeve tee and jeans with a gaping hole in the crotch. I don’t even listen to Bjork. I fell in love with him before he said “hello.” Yes.Heaven:
Waking up from a nap with my two sweet chickens curled up in Mommy’s arms, and a Shake Shack vanilla milkshake en route thanks to UberEats. Yes, I do. (Also, I believe my grandmother is somewhere beautiful, beautiful like her, waiting for me. So yes, despite being an atheist Jew…I do.)
To listen:
This week we have a special playlist JUST FOR US from my buddy
. Kodi owned his own music agency for almost a decade and now works as a marketing executive for hire under his own banner, Me In The Club. He's represented artists from 30+ countries and gets a kick out of finding new artists that can blow up, so he made us a playlist of a bunch of stuff he's excited about in indie, rock, metal, punk, electronic, and hip-hop. It's called Club's Choice Vol. 2, and you can hear it below!Kodi works with creative people every day, and he also writes weekly about issues facing creators (yes you, all you writers - TG) who market themselves, mostly musicians but others too. I You can read and subscribe at theclublist.net.
May Gavin Creel‘s memory be an incandescent blessing:
To watch:
Moving On - the movie I needed right now. Poignant, angry, unresolved. Jane Fonda plays a woman attending her longtime friend’s funeral. She has a secret. She wants revenge. Lily Tomlin plays a pal with whom she has fallen out of touch, who had a deep connection to the departed as well. A thorny companion to First Wives’ Club and a treatise on trauma in the winter of one’s life.
I saw Tom Jones with my parents recently and I would have slayed the entire front row of your aunts and their friends for one night with him now. He possesses an incredible instrument, half a century after first showing the world his gift. A somehow underrated pop god.
To read:
I read the Philadelphia Inquirer newsletter because it is my friend Julie Zeglen’s 9-to-5, but this weekend edition by Ashley Hoffman discussing Jason Kelce’s pump-up dance was such a winner. I laughed out loud and missed Philly desperately.
“Tara’s Ultraboost™ Supplements for Good Health and Good Times,” a short story by Leyna Krow for The Baffler.
My Jewish org,
, is conducting a daily (“A-Z Daily Reflections on Public Accountability into a Better New Jewish Year”) and I adored the memes shared here, in a tribute to the work of the Instagram memeist @gendersauce:
And as a Jew with relatives in Israel, free Palestine. River to the sea, baby! (
)
“Something I learned a couple years ago is that 9/11 is widely considered to be the largest civilian maritime evacuation in history–even larger than Dunkirk. When the coast guard put out a call for help that morning, 150+ vessels showed up to help ferry people out of Lower Manhattan. I was very lucky to attend a screening of Boatlift, a short doc about the water evacuation that day. It’s very much worth a watch.” - obsessed with the incredibly random shit I learn from
via her blog, :
“It’s Game of Thrones out here. I don’t have any desire to enter the market. I survive through grants, and that’s what prompted me to go back to school to teach. I've never sold a piece of art, ever, because I haven't reconciled the lineage that I come out of, where we were a commodity. Think about museums. Dr. Nicole Fleetwood talks about it in Marking Time a lot. Prisons and museums were erected at the same time, and they are in conversation with each other. One is the place you go to when you're not adhering to social norms; the other perpetuates social norms and what culture is acceptable. A museum is a place where we’ve put the conquered people's social, cultural, and spiritual treasures. And we’re still not giving them back! Museums are just a very violent space, entrenched in and an extension of colonialism.” - an interview of
for .
This is literally just Simone:
This is literally just Lugosi and MOMMY:
Actually my babies:
Various and sundry:
MAYTAG.
This Pert shampoo ad-ass intro video for Sabrina Carpenter’s tour dates is so kitschy and cute and made me want to buy a ticket.
Love you bitches,
TG
I can't believe Tom Jones is still performing! But I'm glad he still sounds the same. I'm a huge James Bond fan and have pretty all the theme songs on my iPod, including the one he did for "Thunderball." He really knows how to hold a note! And seriously? A giant mozz ball instead of a wedding cake? BWAHA. Wow.
You made me laugh today. Thank you. As always. ❤️