64. The Week in Me

Feb 09, 2024

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Me, yearnin.’

I don’t enjoy Valentine’s Day. I love love and hearts (especially those filled with chocolate) and the aesthetic pull of pink towards red, and the bag of Hershey Kisses my dad brings me each year.

But my grandmother died three Valentine’s Days ago, on February 14, 2021. I miss her every day. How can this day not be tampered? I will be spending it in Philly at a poetry reading themed about love, and I will power through, but my heart will be in a cemetery in North Arlington, at the foot of a rose marble, heart-shaped grave with my last name etched into the cold stone.

author

Tara on Instagram: “I have an ANNOUNCEMENT: I’m going on a tiny writing tour!!! Catch me next month in Philly and Brooklyn. Tickets for the @myfavoritebreakup event are available on @eventbrite. My poetry will be featured in @bullshitlit’s newest issue of HORNS, which you can buy on their site. AND: if you’re hosting a reading in the tri-state soon, hit me up. 💞💕💞”

February 5, 2024

Many friends have told me they plan to come out to my small writing tour (dates above) and I am full of gratitude that I will be barking out shrieks of excitement over seeing (and hugging) people I haven’t seen in a very long time that night. My grandmother was the queen of shrieking. She would exclaim “GET OUT!” and clap her hands together over the smallest or largest joys: a new baby joining the family, a beautiful scarf picked out for her birthday at a little shop in Eugene, Oregon, a perfectly cinnamoned rice pudding. I in every day, every way try to be her, the version all in black to her bright white. And so next week I will try to be her, too. I hope she’s with me, and I hope she’s with you, too, if this day is isolating or a thicket of loves lost to wade through.

In the often muddied spirit of this day, my beloved friend Sam has put together the below playlist as an exclusive newsletter gift. And now you can say with surety that someone gave you a Valentine this year. I love you all for reading, laughing, relating, and this blog is one of the reasons that my heart feels happy this season.

And now…

To listen:

I joined

Kyler Bingham

Salt Lake Dirt

on his podcast to discuss this very Substack and developing a specific writer’s voice. This is one of my favorite interviews I’ve done!

To read:

I wrote the dumbest rant about Chris Pratt being cast as the Pringles man in an upcoming Superbowl commercial:

He Must Be Stopped

Tara Giancaspro

February 5, 2024

This Monday, a Monday like any other (“working” from home, planning to “catch up” on the Real Housewives of Potomac aka play Candy Crush in between Candiace talking heads, being “dressed” aka wearing a size 4X band hoodie and underweards) I went on Twitter and saw something that made my pastafied Italian heart stop.

Read full story

I was greatly moved when my friend Mike Duquette forwarded me this email from

Mike Joseph

, who I met Saturday at karaoke. I had in the span of one evening several meaningful, thoughtful conversations with my new pal, ones where I felt proud of the (un)learning I have done to engage with others in dialogues about institutionally distinct lived experiences than mine, to receive their insights and make someone feel safe passing them to me. I’m not a man, for one, and can not speak to the pressures of toxic masculinity on my (fleshy, woman’s) shoulders. Mike was inspired to write about some of what I said to him last weekend, and I’m honored to share that here.

Uh, Musings.

A Nice Thing Someone Said

Last night, I celebrated my buddy Mike Duquette, who is on the verge of becoming a dad for the first time-to twins. Mike and I have been friends for about fifteen years, and it’s been a pleasure to watch him mature over the years. I’m 11 years older than him, and at the outset of our relationship there was…

a year ago · 1 like · 1 comment · Mike Joseph

Mike DUQUETTE wrote a birthday tribute to the unexpected pop hits of John Williams that I had so much fun reading/live-texting Mike about. To learn how Bon Jovi and Star Wars are connected, and how John Williams and Toto are connected, and how Baby Shark is connected to all of this, read here.

Mike Joseph

also has a podcast called Detoxicity which advocates for progressive masculinity, and I am sharing an episode with our wonderful mutual friend, Mike Duquette. I have said the name Mike too many times in this newsletter. I will stop now. Mike. Damnit.

Nasty, nasty work down in Florida, as reported by

Wonkette

Florida DMV Threatens Trans People With Jail For Crime Of 'Getting License To Drive'

Gender as a thing distinct from sex is not new: Academics have noted and studied the difference for many decades now. The first Women’s Studies program in the United States formed at San Diego State in 1970, and they were sure as hell talking about this then…

a year ago · 99 likes · 190 comments · Crip Dyke

The Nation freaking me out with this long read on the erosion of the Chevron deference, and our Supreme Court openly seizing power from our actual elected lawmakers.

UGH, from

Robyn Pennacchia

at Wonkette:

Wonkette

Is Prison Labor Tainting Your Breakfast Cereal?

In 1865, the United States abolished slavery, with one glaring exception. The 13th Amendment still allows for forced labor as part of a prison sentence. This was very convenient for many Southern states as they just found ridiculous reasons to arrest Black people and put them right back to work on the plantations from which they had just been freed…

a year ago · 98 likes · 188 comments · Robyn Pennacchia

Lovely piece on shifting perspectives and community in immigration from

Noha Beshir