It’s A Wonderful Life (1946, dir. Frank Capra)
streaming on Roku, Plex
re-watch, re-sob
Watching It’s A Wonderful Life on New Year’s Day is Matt and I’s tradition. We both cry, several times each. I cry the hardest, the hardest in this movie and perhaps the hardest in my life, at Harry Bailey’s “A toast to my big brother George, the richest man in town."
Frank Capra is in my top five directors off of only this film.
The Holdovers (2023, dir. Alexander Payne)
streaming on Peacock
I don’t often post Letterbox reviews, but I had to with The Holdovers.
As of this letter, I have seen The Holdovers twice. The second time, I watched with my parents, neither of whom have stayed awake past 8pm in four years outside of a family wedding. Every time I looked over at my dad, he was smiling, and he was awake. There is no stronger testimony I can give for this delightful movie. Dominic Sessa, a time-traveling embryo because there’s no way a modern fertilized egg could have that Allman Brothers ass face, is a miracle: his first performance outside of a high school play, so specific, so free (his Muppet jog with the other holdovers, his skating rink slip and slide) and so poignant when it needs to be: no semicircle frowns, no chemical tears. That is a real young man up there contending with the real disappointments of adults, as he both runs to and runs from his future as one. He holds his perfect own with Paul Giamatti, whose shrug at a party and whose snowflurried handshake will never leave me. And god, Da’Vine Joy Randolph. That little vocal affectation, her hugging her sister in matching blues, her scolding Angus to watch his language after invoking the Lord’s name in browniebitten vain, then seconds later letting the line “If you’re too chickenshit to attend the party, then say so, but don’t fuck it up for the little fucking asshole!” fly with the crack of a Louisville slugger against it, a home damn run.
Uptown Girls (2003, dir. Boaz Yakin)
streaming on Max
I always call Brittany Murphy “my Jersey girl.” My, as if I knew her. I miss her all the time. I think about how delicately buoyant she would have been as Harley Quinn. I don’t see Brittany in appearance or performance at all similar to Margot Robbie, but I mentally cast her in many of Margot’s roles: Tonya Harding. Barbie. She would have excelled. Simply, there was room for her. There was so much space for her to fling her arms in delight, part her beautiful lips into that wide, eyesquinting smile, bark that delicious laugh, and even tremble in that singular hoarse whisper. The only person to ever whisper at her aptitude is the actress Jeanne Gail, whose “George Bailey, I’ll love you ‘til the day I die” stirs me every time. The beginning of Uptown Girls, set to the sadly unstreamable “Charmed Life” by Leigh Nash, takes on a sour sweetness now. Brittany Murphy should have lived forever.
I had never seen this movie in full. I through osmosis or channelskimming through TNT knew “Sheets of Egyptian Cotton",” though often misattributed it across the years to Empire Records’ Rex Manning:
Jesse Spencer’s songwriter character sucks and I wanted him nowhere near the end of the movie singing her father’s song. Basta! I hope she dumps him within three weeks of the events of the film’s end. Go date Dave Navarro (he’s in this movie). Go date anyone else, seriously anyone other than this greasy hack. And your best friend is a judgy bitch, too. Molly needs a, to quote Jill Zarin, “fabulous circle of people.”
Dakota Fanning is a knife glint in this movie. Cutting and quick, quick enough to draw blood. It is an exceptional performance. Brittany is angelic. Funny, sweet, lost, physical like Lucy Ball at her best. The baby pig is, per the rules, in a movie so that means he is alive forever and no one can tell me he is probably dead by now. These are the rules. God made these rules.
This silent scene hurts my heart. Nothing needs to be said. Nothing needs to be explained. That’s a film.
Uptown Girls passes the Bechdel test. I am so grateful this movie, this meditation on girlhood, was made, and I would absolutely recommend it. I will be picking up a cheap copy on DVD.
The Muppets Take Manhattan (1984, dir. Frank Oz)
streaming on Prime
I hadn’t seen this before! It’s the Moopets! Delightful! What else do I have to say! I am a Camilla sun, Piggy moon, Rizzo rising! Go see the damn movie!
To quote some dude named Josh on Letterboxd: “bro i swear NOBODY has ever taken manhattan this hard bro TRUST ME” Josh is correct.
Barbarian (2022, dir. Zach Cregger)
streaming on Max
Me watching this fucking movie:
Bill Skarsgard was great. Highly suspicious, equally delicious. I did not fuck with the rest of this movie. Jumpscare Justin Long is apparently an IRL creep. I did not even enjoy seeing him get his comeuppance. I just do not want that face all up on my screen. This one was a nah from me. I know Barbarian has shooters, so by all means please enthusiastically defend it in the comments. I would love to know what you loved.
Eastern Promises (2007, dir. David Cronenberg)
streaming on Max
Grease (1978, dir. Randal Kleiser)
streaming on Max
rewatch for the possibly 150th time
You can’t watch Grease with me because I will recite the entire movie as if there’s a “follow the bouncing pompadour” icon bounding off the subtitles. I went out with Sam last Wednesday and almost leapt across the DJ booth to kiss the extremely mustached DJ for playing the Frankie Valli title theme. Ask Chelsea how many times I made her 8-year-old self play various highschool mechanics as I did the entire “Greased Lightning” dance, not understanding a single sexual reference. Dual muffler twins, oh yeah. Danny Zuko is unequivocally the reason I refer to myself as a bit of a genderfuck. That is me up on the screen. Someday I will do a half-and-half costume, half Sandy and half Danny, and know true gender euphoria. I learned the word “fongoul” from Rizzo. I learned what a condom was from Kenickie. I learned what a hooker was from Frankie Avalon. And thank god, because my hometown offered minimal sex education.
I assert, maintain, and viciously attest that Danny’s second introduction is the most beautiful a human person has ever looked on the screen1:
My favorite line?
Blood Simple (1984, dir. Joel Coen)
streaming on Max
Everyone is, to quote Jason Mantzoukas, a “stone cold dumb-dumb” in this movie. M. Emmet Walsh is ravenous, leering, a wolf in a yellowed suit. God love him.
Bring It On Again (2004, dir. Damon Santostefano)
watched this on the DVD I own (???) so girl…I dunno
I watched this (for the third time) to discuss it on an upcoming podcast! I’ll share the episode when it’s available.
Heartburn (1986, dir. Mike Nichols)
streaming on Max
The Kevin spacey jumpscare rattled me. No. I do not consent. Get that slimy Al Pacino impressionist out of my house.
Movie’s good. Jack Nicholson will never not make me think of the way he says “boobie dolls” in Witches of Eastwick but the man is divine at playing prurient.
Ghost (1986, dir. Jerry Zucker)
streaming on Max
IMAGINE MY SHOCK to learn that the pottery scene takes place when Patrick Swayze is alive and it is not an otherworldly occurrence where a ghost manipulates his grieving girlfriend to sculpt some vase from which flowers of hope and a renewed love of life blossom. I have only seen the scene in parody. I assumed he was ghost-sculpting. This may have been a more interesting plot point!!!!
I should have written this movie. Tony Goldwyn having eyebrows freaked me out.
Also, the name is the protagonist is SAM WHEAT??? WHEAT???? WHEAT?!?!!?!!?
I should have written this movie.
Kate & Leopold (2001, dir. James Mangold)
streaming on Max
I watched this movie because I am 1. an avid listener of the podcast How Did This Get Made, on which Kate & Leopold has been featured and 2. in a nostalgic chokehold of charmed by the Sally Hershberger choppy shag made famous by Meg Ryan, to the degree that it earned Sally a cameo in Josie and The Pussycats. I loved it. This is the archetypical Hugh Jackman without the singing and the wife of it all: sensitively sexy, a rare gentleman, a beautiful bang lightly kissing his forehead. The ending of this movie sets feminism back (literally) 100 years, but I loved it. Let women make bad choices!!! Breckin Meyer is here, and he is great. Let’s get the Breckinssaince up and running. Liev Schreiber’s character should consider a class-action lawsuit.
A Most Violent Year (2014, dir. J.C. Chandor)
streaming on Max
Jessica Chastain is doing a little Kelly Reilly tease with the strawberry blonde bob and the little accent. That’s fun. Save your time and watch their rendition of Scenes From A Marriage instead, and look for The Drummer’s name in the credits.
Serendipity (2001, dir. Peter Chelsom)
streaming on Max
second watch after so many years I only remembered the book and the ice skating
These two insane assholes deserve each other. Aidan from Sex and the City’s Kenny G lifestyle is “just a phase”? Girl, no. That is HIM. You can’t change him! And poor Natasha from Sex and the City stays getting jilted for some girl who runs around New York having sartorial meet-cutes. Girl can’t catch a break. What is Bridget Moynahan even up to now?
Anyway, if you want to see two shitheads abscond from their words, actions, and promises to bork, this is your chance, featuring Molly Shannon! Always a good time!
More next month. In the meantime, as far as TV goes I have been watching King of the Hill with Matt, Married To Medicine, and recently Southern Charm, a show who uses its first three episodes to set up a pregnancy scare betwixt a 50-year-old convicted felon who was once described (by himself) as the “hope of the Republican Party” and a 21-year-old Manic Panic redhead with no eyebrows. I’m sold.
Love you bitches,
TG
Oded Fehr in The Mummy comes close, as does…the entire cast of The Mummy.